Proof

When is it in the life of a human being that they have proven themselves? What have they proven themselves worthy of when they have proven themselves?

I know that it only takes one or two times for a person to be proven to be a spinner of falsehoods. But it takes years of time to be proven trustworthy. To repair the damage of one lie from a truthful person also takes time and there is usually disappointment. Ah the disappointment, I know it well. If people do not expect things from you, then you normally do not disapoint them. But of course I am expect to succeed, everyone knows that I am trustworthy, that I in all instances make the correct decision. Essentially I am the good kid that everyone hates because I make them feel guilty for being who they are. Always able to be counted on to be there for my family.

The family that I speak of is all of those that I consider family. Not just blood, although those are in there for better or for worse, but the men that I consider brothers, the women that I consider sisters, eventually the woman that will fill my heart and soul when I find her that is. For this family I honestly would do anything with one limitation (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13067951/) I love you guys but yeah that is staying attached. Sorry baby I love you but I was born with that and I am going to die with it (hopefully all of my other parts will be there at the end too). If they needed to bury a body I would tell them that I knew some land where it could be done. Borrow some shovels and we would go. No questions asked. If they wanted to tell me about it then they would, but if they didn't then they would not.

Anyway on to less grim topics. There are times where I get so sick of being the good kid. Of always doing the right thing. Never letting my emotions or ego get in the way of being a respectable and polite young man. This even leads to me walking away from every fight since I was fourteen. I was told that fighting was wrong and that I could hurt people, plus it takes more to walk away from a fight than to fight it. At least that is what they tell me. But there are times, so many times where I just want to shut him up. But that would be wrong, and I always do the right thing.

No wonder the women of my past have so constantly walked all over me, I have not stood up until the end. My reaction to a fight is to just leave the area. Or to give up the point, because it is not worth the arguement.


Well on a lighter note on a free day in swimming I decided to not go and felt like it would be a good day to go golfing. It was, I was the only one on the course, something that is extremely peaceful (if that is that you do not have an interstate running along one side of the golfcourse) before noon. The grass is still wet and the air is still crisp. It is just nice walk. With the quarter almost being over and the trip coming up life is pretty good. Somewhat lonely but good. That lonelyness will be soon fixed since I am going to see my brother in two weeks.