Where does love end?

Seeing as how I have had some rough experiences in relationships I started wondering where my limits were, what would be a deal breaker with a girl. Being that a family member is having problems with a boy, I don't know the story but I would probably side with her no matter what, I started thinking about where I would draw the line.

Well in the past the phrase one more time has come up more than once. With my first love it was if she breaks up with me one more time then I will just let it stay that way, well that did not work out so well. Because she was my first love and needless to say I was a stupid kid that was dealing with adult issues. The breaking point came when she made me lose my temper. Looking back on it I really am surprised that I lost my temper. I don't like to talk about myself often but I like to think that I have a fairly long fuse. It happened with just a snap of her fingers. This time the do it one more time worked, cause with that snap of her any grip of control that I had was gone, replaced with ice. And that was all I was inside cold hard metal, it actually reminded me of when I was back in high school wrestling, I was driven, had purpose, and nothing would sway my single minded pursued. And so after that I ended it for all time with four words. Temper burning for days, I remember how good those workouts felt. Or really the pain that was burned through that.

Okay so I guess you could say that I don't like to be snapped at, but that snapping came after a barrage of verbal abuse over the course of two years. For this David has added the honeymoon rule. Which is rule three in Brandon's rules of dating: "If she freaks out in the first three months of you and her going out it is not a good sign and you need to leave her. Now this freak out has to be about something that you would not freak out about. Someone dying that is fine to freak out about but me not calling for a week because I have been on family vacation in a place where there is no cell service, not okay. This reasoning came to him because in the first three months of the relationship she is trying to impress me by putting on her best behavior so if she freaks out because I didn't make my bed then it probably would not be worth it anyway, his logic not mine.

Secondly I guess another breaking point for me is long period of unhappiness. For her not me, I stood two years of unhappiness and didn't budge until I lost my temper. But if she is not happy then it really brings me down. I try to be a happy go lucky guy, and I know that I do have days where I just have a sour look and a mean disposition but generally I am around with a smile and a terrible joke ready. So all summer she was depressed even though we would talk every day, I wrote her letters using a pen that was very special to me, even ran the darn thing out of ink on the last one. For the most part she would hang up the phone with a somewhat angry "OK bye." It really did not help that none of my friends liked her at all. It really did not help that they were telling me disturbing things about her. So I guess long standing depression would be a breaking point for me as well. But how long is long? I mean a week can seem like years if you are really trying to cheer up someone like that. I will just say arbitrarily that it is a month, yeah a month sounds good. A month solid of me trying to cheer her up with her still being depressed it might be time then to think about how serious I am about this girl.

Third would definitely be self mutilation. Yeah she was a crazy one, I did not know how to handle it, in my mind everything that you do is a conscience decision. You just stop doing it and it stops. Smoking, drinking, drugs, to me (and I know that this sounds arrogant) the addiction is all in your head, sure the body goes through some withdrawals but if you want to stop then just stop. My grandfather wanted to quit smoking because I asked him to, and you know how many times he quit? Once. He put them down and he never touched one again. Now he was not the classiest person in the world (the magazine incident at my graduation party is a definite indicator of that) but he was real. I would trade all the class in the world just to be like him. But that is neither here nor there. I would say that if a girl cuts herself that is another deal breaker for me as well, I might try to help her but while she is doing that we could not be in a relationship. I don't think that she should be in a relationship if she is doing that because obviously she is not happy with herself, why else would she be cutting her flesh, and if you are not happy with yourself then another person will not make you happy either.

Fourth, I would have to say that I will not take direct physical abuse, unless it is in a setting where I am expecting it, wrestling, or sparring (as unlikely as that might be) but if I am just sitting on the couch innocently watching the Giants game, and my one and only gives me a shot to the jimmies with out warning I would say that all of the sudden that girl definitely not the one for me, which means it might be time to be hitting that old dusty trail.

Alright so that covers the breakups that I have been through. On to new territory, what would I now consider a deal breaker with a girl? Well there are some easy ones, smoker, or drug user, yeah... Sorry it isn't working out. Cheating, I know that I told the first one that we would have to talk about it first but now I think that probably not. I think that it is not too much to ask for her to get along with my family. Cause they are not going anywhere, they will always be there. She however might be another story. Oh and she has to like big dogs. That is a must definitely, cause I am having more than one at my house. Piercings... Not a fan, ears are good but best if kept to one. Other places on the face really not a fan: eyebrow, nose, lip, I really just do not think that they look good, that and the torment that I would receive for dating a girl with fishing tackle on her face would not be cool. I especially dislike the belly button piercing. I do not know what it is about it I just really dislike it almost as much as smoking. For the simple thing of I do not want to get my own belly button pierced if I go in to kiss her and she is wearing a bathing suit. If I really cared about the girl I think that I could forgive her of these but piercings in placed where clothes cover... I am not even going there. If she does not like how I work out well I will apologize to her and be on my way. If she doesn't want kids well sorry but I do.

What else... mmm ooh yeah if she is not accepting of my omnivoreism that is fine I will not be fine with her onmeforever. I don't like old conflicts arising I understand that at times they might not get resolved but I would say that if they get brought up more than four times then it should have been either put in the past or she needs to be.

Now these are not deal breakers but there are sore spots with me, I really do not like to have my intelligence questioned (I do not display my full intelligence all the time because it would be boring), and I do not like people telling me that I am getting out of shape, the only people that can say that I am fat are Brooke, and other wrestlers that I know, because only they know what in shape really means to me. But I am more talking about what I will stand for and what I will not stand for. I think that if she constantly tells me that I am not good enough or not intelligent eventually I would share the feeling and leave.

I think that I would also not like a girl that drank a lot. I know that I am not currently able to say what a lot is but I think that I could probably tell the difference between a little innocent fun and something that I need to worry about. Oh and if she is not fine with my drinking only when I choose or not experimenting with drugs at all then sorry but my body my rules with that one.

I think that I just need to be more assertive of my will. In the past I have just let her (whom ever her was) make the decisions. If an argument I would just fold to get the fight over with because I thought that it was fine if we were just not fighting. Which lead down the path of her always getting her way which has made her think that her way is the instant way that we will be taking. So I think and I hate to say this I think that I need boundaries. I have always felt that boundaries with the one that you love should not be there, like you are holding something back, but maybe just hold on to some things for a little while, and don't just fold so that everything is alright again, to maybe keep some sense of self which I have a bad reputation of losing when a female turns my head.

Lastly I apologize to Maurice for that hour and a half conversation that you were forced into.

This is not everything and I know that some of this will probably be compromised in the future just because that is what happens, but at least I have some idea, now that I have actually thought about what it is that I will and will not accept. Then instead of just rolling over and dying like I always did in that one aspect of my life (always found it somewhat strange that in all other aspects of my life I fought to the death) I can think about what it is that is happening, see that it is on my list and then think about how much this thing that she is doing or not doing (like not liking big dogs) bothers me.

And now to finish out the night at one thirty in the morning a little Keith Anderson playing one of my favorite songs, Pickin' Wildflowers. Country is not everyone's thing (most of my previous girlfriends for example) but it sure is mine. Even urbane city folk that I know it has grown on them....