Steady
Through trials and tribulations I remain steady. Yelling and screaming did not deter me from my duty. Saying the words that I came up with even though they were somewhat weakened in feeling thanks to verbal abuse. Remained out of nudging range while standing there just Incase unconsciously I felt the need to strike back. But I just turned it all off, looking at the past, knowing how this will change things, thinking about for and against, but knowing that my mouth is staying shut with the exception of the words that are required of me.
It is a strange thing growing up. Becoming more distant with those that you love, eventually going off and making your own family and seeing those important people at weddings and other important events, except my family.
I guess I thought that nothing would really change, but when I got back I knew that it would never be the same again.
posted by Brandon at 11:53 AM
2 Comments:
How very dismal.
Here you used to talk about how it was such a great thing, and I find out more and more things like this.
There were no words required of you. You were asked if you'd like to say something. I don't recall the last time I heard your voice sound sounded so solemn. Perhaps when your grampa died. That was an occassion to be solemn. I liked what you said, but I'd rather you not have said it at all if you didn't really feel it.
You seemed, even in your kind words, to be mourning the death of a friendship, or perhaps just your comfy way of life. Marriage is for rejoicing, not mourning.
Everyone else was happy... why couldn't you be?
Of course things will change. I find it rather intersting that you and David somehow thought things would ever be any different. Things will change but you all will still be friends and still see each other and still have that bond. You're just no longer first priority, nor are my friends mine. I know you're grudgingly accepting this, but the sooner David does, the better. Change is change... not necessarily either good or bad, just different. ..
11:08 AM
I was not necessarially talking about you. Nor was I necessarially talking about you and Maurice getting married. I was just writing in my non committial way that reveals nothing as far as what it is that I am writing about. I can see your point though.
The solomness as far as the words that I said to you and Maurice; well that was because that was how I chose to express emotion in that instance. I was trying to be real in that instance. I was trying to not be funny or cute or amusing in any way just solid, watching my best friend and a girl that I consider a sister getting married, I wanted to give them everything that I had.
9:40 PM
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