Is it there to lose?

Twenty-five. Twenty-five, that is huge. I have never done that much before. So far I have done seventeen but that really turned into like seven once season started. But twenty-five, I mean I could go sixty-three but then what am I getting into. Guys that are cutting from 180-90. That is a lot of strength to make up. But then what would I be doing to my body? Is it worth it? Was it ever worth it? Who would I train with? How would I train? I can't do this alone. I could spend the next three months lifting to make up the strength and then I would not have to go down, but... sixty-three that's getting into the upper weights. Would that be worth it to make it to Vegas? If that was the only way that I could go, would it be enough? Is it too much? How much do I really love what it would be that I was doing? Why am I doing this? That might be the big question. As Pauly said, "What you don't think that you've peaked yet." In the movie he was joking, but maybe I haven't. I feel like I have learned a lot about the sport by taking a step back and not going for a little while. Maybe just take a look at state and see how I feel about getting to weight before then. If I do decide to do this there is no turning back, no I quit, I am going to go back to the all go no quit, go big or go home attitude. Forty-five and a half might be my best bet. Can I do it though, while working and coaching? If and that is a big if, if I do decide to then it is done.